This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
