how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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