like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize
