If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
