it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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