Who wears a wallet chain?!
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
