I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
