Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
