Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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