What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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