She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
