4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
