she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
