I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
operation have a gay friend backfired
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
birth control should be required to get into college
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
