TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
