Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
