do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
