Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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