That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
