So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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