Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
