he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
