Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
