remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize