Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize