Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
