He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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