so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
