is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
