You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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