I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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