please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He better not be in your backpack
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
