Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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