Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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