and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
