when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize
