i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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