She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
