She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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