Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
