Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
