I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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