You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it glows. i had to have it.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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