Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
