I want to have your abortion
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
