Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  Your face is a jimmy john

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  (650): Your face is a jimmy john http://tfl.nu/p2et
  Replies (7) Good night (639) Bad night (795) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face

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  (617): yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face http://tfl.nu/3atc
  Replies (7) Good night (1681) Bad night (590) Order T-Shirt
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  (626): View more from California

  What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"

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  (626): What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?" http://tfl.nu/e6g5
  Replies (33) Good night (608) Bad night (2834) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to

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  (612): I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to http://tfl.nu/s30p
  Replies (154) Good night (3887) Bad night (780) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.

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  (208): just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again. http://tfl.nu/8lay
  Replies (13) Good night (995) Bad night (5664) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy

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  (304): hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy http://tfl.nu/s01j
  Replies (11) Good night (3918) Bad night (1260) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it

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  (201): so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it http://tfl.nu/kytb
  Replies (18) Good night (1201) Bad night (4659)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."

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  (908): While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you." http://tfl.nu/7a3m
  Replies (55) Good night (26466) Bad night (2254) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.

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  (563): I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay. http://tfl.nu/8krm
  Replies (3) Good night (747) Bad night (2662) Order T-Shirt
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  (239): View more from Florida

  I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.

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  (239): I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore. http://tfl.nu/vgm4
  Replies (7) Good night (1685) Bad night (667) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  How have you survived this long?

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.

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  (479): Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever. (1-479): How have you survived this long? (479): Dumb luck and a deal with the devil. http://tfl.nu/0es8
  Replies (9) Good night (3087) Bad night (720)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.

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  (908): HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW. http://tfl.nu/s4dk
  Replies (6) Good night (899) Bad night (386) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.

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  (724): i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager. http://tfl.nu/vpf4
  Replies (5) Good night (1348) Bad night (361) Order T-Shirt
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  (956): View more from Texas

  Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.

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  (956): Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout. http://tfl.nu/rol8
  Replies (0) Good night (564) Bad night (199) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.

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  (402): I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it. http://tfl.nu/oran
  Replies (6) Good night (646) Bad night (365) Order T-Shirt

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