I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.