Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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