i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
