I must be too annoying 4 u.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
