wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
