so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
