she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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