Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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