Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
