arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Can I color on your dick again?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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