I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize