hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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