Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
