he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
