Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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