I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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