I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
