He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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