My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
