That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She's like a pop up book from hell.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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