Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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