The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
