Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
